I just finished the Luxe series by: Anna Godbersen and oh my goodness so good!! I highly recommend it to any one who LOVE Jane Austin. Though this is a easier read (with out the fancy language) I am so sad the series is over but so worth the time :) It is full of Drama, suspense, murder, love, lust and much much more :)
Two nights ago I had a dream. In my dream I went to the doctor for a Check up to find out that I was not only pregnant but going to deliver twins right then! Weird right? I have never really wanted twins so this dream was kinda weird. Now how ever I want them so bad. I truly fell in love. I had two beautiful girls and they were named Naomi and Capri. You know when you have those dreams that seem so so really and when you wake up your sad there not? Well this was one of them, and I know that it was probably just a dream but I seriously miss those two little girls. Last night I literally had a aching in my heart for them. Like I have been away from them for to long. Yes I know that might sound a little CRAZY because it was just a dream but if someday I do have two little twins names Naomi and Capri we will all know I HAD A DREAM of them first :)
For those of you who haven't tried The Sweet Tooth Fairy is Provo you must leave now! Seriously Drive right down to Provo and spoil your self with one of their Cupcakes!! They are AMAZING!! :) We tried the Grasshopper Cupcake Shake and the Carrot Cupcake both were delicious :)
Clayton and I were at the store yesterday when I spotted some silly string. We picked up two bottles and then later that night we had a duel it went a little something like this...
I'm pretty sure we have a sock monster living in our house. For the last few months socks have been disappearing in our house. Not a pair of socks just one of each pair goes missing!! What the crap...its so frustrating. I know they can be far because our apartment isn't that big but oh my does it push my buttons. I have put the blame on a sock monster who's name is Lenny only because Lenny sounds like a mischievous little name. But watch the sock monster is probably my husband who just gets a kick out of my frustration with only having a one sock of each pair and someday I might just find a whole pile of socks stuff in some corner. ;) Although Clayton's socks are missing too so for now we will just assume its all Lenny's Fault ;)
So I started again...My cycle that is. Normally when I start I BAWL I mean the water works really turn on. This month though I started while at my parents (sorry if its to much detail) so I was in good company :) So I don't think it really sank in. Later though I went home to get some stuff done before Clayton got home from work. I was sitting on my couch and it sank it. I was crushed...
I know with me at least I tend to think I'm pregnant a lot. This is for mainly the reason that I am ALWAYS Nausea's I mean like cant stand up with out wanting to pass out/ cant think of any kinda of food Nausea's. Plus the last few months right before or right after my cycle my breast are SUPER tender. So whats a girl to think...well my mind JUMPS to YOUR PREGNANT. I mean you cant really blame me for thinking it when its the normal signs of pregnancy.
This month I was so sure I was pregnant ( I mean Thursday night I actually fell asleep with my hand holding me stomach as if to some how protect that tiniest little clump of not really anything yet but what would be the most precious thing in the world) I know that all sounds cheesy but its how I felt . So when It really sank in it broke my heart...
The one thing that makes it worse is seeing that everyone else I know from High school or just around me is getting pregnant. NOT that I am not so happy for them BECAUSE I AM!! ( I hope no one is every shy to tell me they are pregnant for fear of me being mad, because I truly truly am so Happy for them!! It just stings a little well a lot.)
Now I do realize that everything (even babies) happen when they are supposed to and that from some reasons its just not our time yet. (this has given me comfort a lot ) But at the same time its SUCKS. Although I have complete Faith In Heavenly Father and I KNOW with all my heart He is waiting for the perfect moment to let me and Clayton become parents and oh how my hearts longs for that moment :)
Last night we were at a wedding for Clayton's cousin. Towards the end we were all cleaning up and I was holding (Jen and Jake's little boy) Cooper. I had to run to the bath room really fast so I turned to Clayton handed Cooper, my purse, jacket and camera bag. For that minute I just thought of Cooper being our little one and Clayton carrying all that stuff. As I turned to walk away I smiled and said all your missing is a diaper bag and you would be complete. I CAN NOT wait for Clayton to become a daddy. He is AMAZING with little ones and they are like magnets to him! I mean we can be at the movies, a park, dinner, church any where really and They will Stare at him!! The other day we ran into a girl from high school and her little one. *keep in mind this is the first time we saw her little boy* And the little boy lunged for Clayton. Ah I Cant wait!!
You know how they say distance makes the heart grow founder? Well though there is more distance then I can count from where our little ones to be are now my heart grows founder of them every second :)
