10 Months!!!

Ten months! Its crazy you have almost been with us for a year! You have become even more of a busy body now. You pull your self up to everything and walk along the  furniture! You even took two steps the other day! You will be walking soon I'm sure and when that happens I'm sure nothing will stop you, other then things that are to high because your still not to tall about 26 inches. Though you try to reach for things just beyond your reach by going up on  your tippy toes, so cute!

I had one of the hardest months with you. You pulled my straightener on you and got a pretty badly burned (see previous post for more detail.) You are one tough kiddo though.
You have been tough through the whole ordeal. We have to got to the doctors 3 times already for it. The doctors all say your super tough and really strong. Though its on the mend and your doing great.

I have to say if I'm feeling down at all the best thing is a cuddle buggle from you...So when you had the burn what  was the best medicine? You guessed it a cuddle from you;) There is no better "happy pill" then snuggling a sleepy baby.

You are in love with food. Like if anyone eats near you, you will grunt and make noises and sometimes even cry if they don't share. You LOVE all things cheese. If it be grilled cheese, Marconi and cheese, cheese sticks you will down it. Not to mention if we take food away from you....lets just say you have a minor melt down.

You have figured out that when your standing in your crib that if your stretch your arms that its nearly impossible for us not to get your out of your crib...I know slap us on the wrist. Lets  face though I don't think anyone could resist  the temptation of picking you up. You love sleeping on your stomach, Just like Daddy does. Though your bum usually is in the air...that part isn't like Daddy.

Your Lorax craze is still going strong. You get upset if we turn it of or even pause it. Not good. I've tried to show you other movies but no such luck. You like Lorax and that's it. Which its been a good distraction after we have to wash your burn. Last week after one of your baths your were sobbing. I asked not expecting a response "Wanna watch the Lorax?" in a sad voice "ya". Which was sad and adorable at the same time.

You have started to answer yes or no questions. Only with a response of "ya". Though you use it correctly. At your last Doctor apt. You answered "ya" to one of her questions, she was very impressed.

While we were at the store the  other day. I had ran back to get something for the  back of the store. When I
got back Daddy was holding you over the flowers so you could pick out flowers for me. You picked out white daisies with colored tips.

Your a sweet heart and enjoy watching you grow so much!  Though you are very stubborn and hard headed. If you want something you go for it or cry for it until you get your way....NOT GOOO!!! Im trying to work on that with you.


You are so much like Daddy. It amazes Me. You always squat kneel like Him. Plus You love outside anything outside and your game. I'm pretty sure when your a little older You two will basically live outside especially in Daddy's favorite place the Mountains.

Sadly I get any videos onto the blog, but I'll figure it out soon!!

Mothers Day

This Mother Day was a totally new experience for Me. It was My first "Offical Mother's Day" being that I'm a Mother now. It shed a whole new light. Normally Its about the Mother's in my life, and while Clayton always has given Me a gift on Mother's Day its not the same being a Mother to be as it, it is being a Mom.

The morning started with Clayton waking me up to breakfast. We were trying to have a yummy quite breakfast, though Ruger thought that "quite breakfasts" are over rated so He woke up before the first bite. So Ruger joined us for breakfast and present opening.

I started reading/opening My gifts and to My surprise I started tearing up with the first gift and it continued through out breakfast. Clayton assured Me, that it is completely normal, to get teary eyed on Mother's Day. I got a adorable "hand" bouquet, and a poem with Ruger's foot prints that didn't turn out perfect, though that makes it "perfect" in its own way. Clayton got Me a "Night of Relaxing". Including a detailed card on how to relax, aka candles, warm bath, bath salts, and of COURSE CHOCOLATE!

I truly have learned the Joy and Love that comes from becoming a Mother. I learned I love it more and more every day! Though  I've also learned how hard, and trying the world of Motherhood can be. My heart strings have been stretched and plucked so much, not only from joy but from heart ache, seeing  Ruger going through pain or hurting any way, makes my own heart mirror the pain. Its hard seeing your child hurt. At the same time its amazing how much  your heart can swell with love and pride. I guess all the good things make up for the hard ones.

I'm so grateful for the honor and blessing of being able to be called Mother,or momma/mom  as Ruger would say. To my own Mother and Mother-in-law Happy Mother's Day as well because Its hard work and you two have done an amazing job!! 

Burns, U of U center and Guilt

Last Thursday (4/25) I was getting ready for a surprise date night with the Clayton. I was doing my hair and I tucked the cord of my straightener up on the counter top and continued to get ready. A few minutes later I looked down just as Ruger pulled the cord and the Straightener clamped around his left elbow.

I honestly can't describe the emotions I felt. It was the worst feeling ever as Ruger looked up at me like WHAT DID HAPPENED ?!? I have never felt so helpless. I was crying/gasping I prayed and pleading with My Heavenly Father to take this away to make him feel better and if nothing else let him not be in pain!!I called the Doctor and asked what do to. They told me to keep an eye on the burn, keep it clean and covered. Ruger was SUCH a trooper through all of this. He cried for maybe 5 minutes when it first happened and then was fine. He crawled and played as if nothing ever happened  I can't say the same for me. I cried for at least two hours and then I continued to cry through out the day.

I kept praying the next few days. One of the things I prayed for was to know if I had to take Ruger to the doctor or not for infection. I unwrapped the bandage and just felt the need to call the doctor. I called and said I wanted Him seen. When we got there Dr. Wilcox ( First of all I LOVE DR. Wilcox, He has taken care of most of my siblings including Myself.) any who so We got there and Dr. Wilcox was on the fence if He should send us up to the U of U Burn Center. We ended up going on the side of caution.  They told me to give him some over the counter medicine because they would be scraping the burn to remove all chance of infection and to get a good look at the burn.

As I left the Dr. Office I began to sob. In 9th grade I took a tour of the burn center and they described how to clean burns. I was sickened then but now as I recalled the memory I was horrified. I didn't want my son the have to go through that, and not to mention just with Advil in his system. I went to my moms and just cried and cried. I honestly was so sick and couldn't stop thinking about it. I called Clayton and he took the next day off. I called to tell My dad and two minutes later He called back to say He had also taken the Day off and would be there with us. I love My Dad. He didn't have to take the day and time to drive up there with us. He was there for support and the means so much to us.

That night My Dad came over and helped give Ruger a Priesthood Blessing. Clayton proceeded to give one of the sweetest blessing. He actually started to cry during the blessing. Clayton doesn't cry. In the 6 years I have know Him He has cried probably 8 times. Ruger was told in the blessing that He would heal soon. That the pain wouldn't last and He would be alright. I then asked for a Fathers Blessing. I was told many things but at one point I was told the Heavenly Father doesn't give us the feeling of guilt. That He doesn't want us to dwell in the pain and guilt. I was reminded that everything is in His Hand. I was asked to exercise My Faith and not to stress and worry about the next day. I was overcome with peace and stayed until we were in the Dr. office.

Yesterday morning We woke up I unwrapped Ruger's arm to put more cream on it, to my relief (not surprise Because I KNOW Heavenly Father with the Priesthood as the power to heal) the burns looked 5x better. I mean still bad but way way better.

We got the apt. and sat down in the room. Ruger was so tough until they "scraped" his arm. Which really was just a hard wipe and a little force. He didn't like it and cried but it was over fast and a lot less the I thought it would be. They told me to "scrap" it twice a day until his next apt. or until the white film goes away. The Physical therapist came and looked at him as well and gave us so exercise His elbow until His next apt. Hopefully we wont have to do more extensive therapy and a split to keep his arm straight. Though we will find out more on his next apt.

Last night was our first time "scraping" which is really washing by ourselfs. By "ourselfs" I mean ME. Clayton can't bring Himself to actually do the washing. It was awful. I hate

1. Seeing Ruger and Pain
2. Being the one causing the pain.
3. NOT wanting to do it and know it will cause pain, while at the same time it has to be done.

He cried of course. Though when we were done He was a way happier Camper. That's the good thing about infants. They don't know its come so therefore the don't DREAD it. Plus once the not fun part is done there over it.

Last night was awful. Ruger ended up being in bed with us because, He kept waking up so often It was better/easier for both of us to let him sleep with us. It was awful, if He wasn't waking up cry He was whimpering in his sleep.

I hate that this happen and often find myself blaming myself. I do know it is not my fault and that things happen. Though it doesn't make it any easier. Both set of Doctors assured Me this: Accidents Do not make you a bad Parent. They happen to the best of us. Though it does make me more aware and I can't say the next time I will be doing my hair if Clayton isn't home to keep baby far far away.

I can't say We would have gotten through this as well as we are with out the Gospel. It has given Me the most comfort when things seem horrible and dark. I am so grateful for Clayton's and My upbringing in the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints.  I am also so so BLESSED to have Worthy Husband that can give a blessing whenever we need it. I am so THANKFUL for all the prayers said in all our behalfs and most of all Ruger. He is so Loved and the means the world to us all.