Practice Run

      I've started to watch a little boy named Ke'koa. First off he is a doll. My mom used to watch him but when she cut back her numbers she was sad to have to give him up. I was planning on going back  to work this fall after Ruger was a few months old. I was upset and really bummed (I mean cried a long with some panic attacks) when I ever thought of leaving Ruger home while I was at work. Though I knew he would be in the best hands ever My dear amazing Mother. I was just bummed because I wanted to be stay at home  mom but it wasn't looking like it would happen...
     Then I found out that my mom was cutting back on numbers with her daycare and thought...hey I could do that especially if It was a sweet boy like Ke'koa! So we talked to his parents they met me and decided to use me. This came to me as a sweet tender mercy from the Lord. Not only for me but for  Ke'koa's family  as well. They get the peace of having their son with someone the kinda already know( I helped out at my mom's every now and then) and someone ke'koa was already comfortable with, and I get to stay home with my sweet boy when he arrives!!
      My heart does go out to all those mom's out there that aren't able to stay home with there little ones. Like I said above I would cry anytime I would think about going back to work and leaving Ruger with my Mom even though he would be totally safe, taken care of and LOVED. It still tore me apart. When Clayton and I were debating if watching Ke'koa would be the right thing or not. One BIG thing is the money, my check is getting cut by a lot. I was worried about the less income. Clayton looked me in the eyes and said we will make it. When I started to  protest with  the whole income thing he said we would be fine money wise just would have to be better at not spending here and there, and If  he'd have to he would get a second job. I began to sob  more because I feel like Clayton and I don't get enough time alone/together as is. Clayton then said Meg you have had over 3 years with me and haven't had time with Ruger yet. So Ruger comes first. I'm so grateful  for Clayton for wanting our son to have a stay at home mom and for willing to do what it takes to make it happen.
     I do want to thank my dad for making it possible for my own mother to be able to be a stay at home mom. Though she did day care and now preschool she was always there for us. We probably took that for granted then but looking back I'm  so grateful and love the memories of always having my mom home when I need her.
    On the other hand I have to make a shout out  to those mom's who do work and have there kids in day care. One being my AMAZING sister Mollie. Sawyer (her son) is one of the luckiest boys ever! Though Mollie works and goes to school full time, (Yeah, she is that awesome) he doesn't get less of her as a mom. Though there time maybe not be as much as it would be If Mollie stayed home Sawyer is spoiled with love and attention :)
     So as I have been watching Ke'koa he as been fun, entertaining and gives me a glimpse at my future. For example Monday when Clayton was home from work and I was watching Ke'koa we were all  playing blocks, when Clayton pipes up and says "It's weird this could be us playing with Ruger in two years." To which I  responded "Clayton this will be us!" :) No if and's or butts about it:)
     This morning Ke'koa wanted to go outside. I said we would have to wait till it warmed up a little but we would go out before lunch. He quickly responded "Its not cold its SUNNY!!" :) then later when we went out to play I  open the  door and  he happily says "ITS SO NICE OUT!!" He is a hoot and enjoy watching him. I find that it makes me even more excited to have my own little boy!! So all in all I feel like watching Ke'koa is giving me a peek at  what being a stay at home mom will be...I must say I kinda like it.I guess this is my own practice run Though I know having a new born and two year old will be a HUGE adjustment I welcome  it will open arms:)