"Welcome to Motherhood?!"

First of all I want to start of by saying I'M NOT PREGNANT! (you'll understand the title later)

I've always been a worry wort, and when it comes down to my siblings or family members its outrageous. I can remember when my little brother David was a baby ( probably 2 or 3) I was terrified he would be kidnapped. So I would make routine checks on him through out the night. I would even scoop him up and bring him into my bed so I could keep a better eye on him. My mom caught me a few times and re- assured me he was safe and no harm would come to him. I was on a mission though and still checked on him for months.
     Another example is: I some times volunteer at Daisy's elementary school. This gave me great peace at heart. I could observe Daisy in her social skills at work. I could see she had plenty of friends got well with other kids!! I could also track her progress in school! By the way she is outstanding. Plus if I saw she was struggling or needed a little extra work I would pass it along to my mother and in a week or so It would no longer be an issue. It amazing how big a relief this was to me!! What 21 year old worries (and I mean STRESSES about if there siblings are well liked/get along with people and does well in school)
     I really recent example is when Clayton and I were watching my four youngest siblings while my MOST deserving parents went a cruise to the Mexican Riviera! My Father being a smart man gave us blessing before he left. In that blessing we were blessed with the promptings and knowledge of what we would have to do to take care of  my siblings while my parents were gone. So a few short hours after my parents were already off on their way! Hinton (my youngest brother 3 at the time) started to complain of his big toe hurting. I looked at his toe and sadly found that it was most likely a in-grown toe nail! That night was in the top 5 of my worst nights ever!! He woke up several times screaming in pain. I had no idea what to do but cry with him and hold him close.
     The next day I called the Doctor. He suggested we trying antibiotics and a soke to try to heal his toe. He warned me this might not work, but we wanted to try this because the other option was to remove the toe nail. This is the worst way to go because its a very scary process for a little one. He said its made grown men cry..So we started the antibiotics. That night around eight Hinton was complain it was hurting again I looked at his foot and there was a red line starting at his toe and creeping up  half way up is calf. I half cried half yelled for Clayton. He said " Meg he needs to go to the Hospital." I know it wasn't the best thing to do but I started to cry. I asked Clayton to grab Hinton's coat and to tell Tucker we were leaving and he would have to watch Daisy for a while. Hinton asked where are we going? I told him that we were going to the doctor and they would fix his toe. Hinton started to cry and fought me to put his coat on. I had to carry him crying to the car.
     We arrived at the hospital and Hinton was nervous. I tried to act calm and tell him everything would be fine. While in the mean time Clayton's was reassuring me by squeezing my shoulder and giving my a kiss on the forehead. The Doctors got us in pretty fast the told me that is was the best we got him when he did and thanked up for paying close attention. After a quick assessment they were all in a agreement they had to remove his toenail and start him on IV antibiotics, because the infection was spreading fast. They gave us two options 1. We could locally numb the toe and then a needle numbing. or 2. We could knock him out cold. With out a second thought I said " knock him out!!" Looking back now I think it was for me and him both. I cant stand to see people in pain.
     The nurse came into put the IV in and Hinton started to cry and fight. They had me lay him down on his back and then lay myself on top of Hinton to keep him from moving....This was the worst pain in my life.I the person  he trusted most in that hospital was the one holding him down for them to put the needle into his arm. Now I know this was what was need and best for him but I wouldn't want to relive that experience in my life again. It took a few minutes and the whole time He was moving and crying saying over and over again " NO NO, It hurts!!" In a few minutes it was in. I could cuddle him once again... They came in and pushed some morphine Hinton began to cry again and I reassured him it would help him with the pain. Surely enough a few brief minutes he was high as a kite. He was convinced he was having Chicken Noddle soup being put in his arm through the IV.
     We were then moved to another room where I could no longer hold him and he had to lay flat on the bed. His eye widen with fear and begged me to hold him....another horrible moment. They hurried and knocked him out. And the procedure commenced. It took several more doses to fully knock him out. Once he was out they started cutting and puss began to flow. I couldn't watch nor keep the tears from escaping my eye or the gasps from exiting my mouth. Clayton held me tight (Did I mention I am so glad I wasn't alone for this) the doctors assured me he wasn't in pain and would wake up and not remember any of this. I nodded and continued to gasp and cry in the background.
   A few minutes later they were done. They gave him antibiotics and loratab. Hinton awoke confused but no longer in pain!! :) They sent us home. and the real torture began.
    Hinton and I slept in the living room together. He would awake every 15 to 20 minutes cry that his foot was itching or hurting. (the medicine wore off) We gave him some more which he spit most of it out. Finally we feel asleep around 6 am. We woke up at 8 am a few two hours later.
     The story gets better after that we had a few more rough spots but in a few days it was better :) but this story is already going way to long :)
     My point in these story though some went way more into detail then planned (Sorry for that). Is that I stress very much about my siblings and I am very close to them and LOVE them DEARLY.  Tonight I was talking on the phone with my Mother about my older brother who is going through some stuff and  I was stressing about it and cried to her on the phone. She told me that "Meghan WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD!" to which I respond I'm not even a mother yet!! She in turn said "Meghan you don't need to stress! I'm the mother and I will stress you don't need to as well"  I have to say I am so sorry the stress I put my parents through. And I hope she doesn't mind me sharing these stories. All in all I look forward to being a mother but the stress that come along with it  wont be welcomed with opens arms. Though I am sure the above experiences were just preparing me right?